


Sunshine on Rainy Days Doesn't Happen Without You

by StoneThrowAway



Series: Lumina Solis Triste Renidens [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Someone dies, and 2 corn snakes, and changbin has a cat, angst with a somewhat happy ending?, but happy at others, changbins a music producer along with the rest of 3racha, felix is a zoology student and works as a zookeeper, i made myself cry rereading this, its mainly Changbin and Felix, lowkey not sorry, oh yeah felix has a pet duck, so i've had this in my drafts for a while, the others are mostly meantioned sorry, theres little bit of swearing, this is sad at parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 08:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneThrowAway/pseuds/StoneThrowAway
Summary: Life was going great for Changbin. Then it wasn't.orHow one night changed Seo Changbins life forever.





	Sunshine on Rainy Days Doesn't Happen Without You

**Author's Note:**

> !!!WARNING!!!  
>  There is major character death: someone does bleed out. The first half of this is strictly fluff, so you can stop reading before the death happens (it's pretty clear when it's coming) if you are sensitive to things like this. Thank you for reading!

Changbin finally paused in his work after his stomach growled at him loudly, demanding food. He sighed, saving the file before stretching his sore body and glancing at the time. 1:34 pm. He’d been in the studio since 5:30 am after waking up to Felix getting ready for his early morning dance practice. 

 

Pressing his palms into his eyes, he sighed again, finally feeling just how tired he really was. Standing, he grabbed his things, waving goodbye to a half-awake Chan as he passed the elder, noted the 4 cups of coffee next to him. He’d have to warn Woojin for sure. 

 

He squinted his eyes against the sun, plugging in his headphones and tugging his mask up higher on his face before making his way towards the dance studio were he knew Felix would still be at, just finishing up teaching his class alongside Minho and Hyunjin. He nodded to the familiar stand sellers, saying hello to a few and trying not to yawn.

 

He entered the studio quickly, nodding towards the receptionist who smiled towards him in greeting before climbing in the elevator. Pressing the fourth-floor button, he closed his eyes as the road it, regretting getting up so early. Felix would have just let him sleep as he did on most days unless Changbin had an early morning class he couldn't miss, making sure the pets wouldn't bother him.

 

Most days Changbin woke to a bed that was already cold, cuddled into the pillow that smelled like his boyfriend's shampoo. He would lounge until finally forcing himself out of bed, stumbling to the kitchen to see the little post-it notes Felix always left for him to find. 

 

Sometimes they declared Felix's love for him, other times it was animal facts. Little reminders and good morning adorned the little colourful pages as well, with little drawings that Felix carefully drew. 

 

Changbin would never admit it, but he kept every single note, stashed in a box in the bottom of their closet alongside letters and pictures Felix had sent him when he went back to Australia for summers back in high school. It made not seeing him for so long easier in a way. 

 

Changbin opened his eyes as the bell dinged, straightening his back as he exited the elevator and made his way towards the dance room his boyfriend taught in. He nodded in greeting to some of Felix’s students who recognized him, dodging some of the younger kids that rushed around the hall. 

 

He entered the mirrored room and instantly spotted Felix. His eyes softened when he spotted the blonde, simply gathering his things. It didn't matter how many times he saw Felix, every time he laid eyes on the younger he fell completely and utterly more in love with him. Call him cheesy, but that was just how Changbin felt whenever he saw Felix. 

 

He could still remember the exact moment he first laid eyes on Felix. 

 

Felix had been 12, himself 13, and had come to Korea for 2 weeks to visit his older brother, who was studying their full time. Chan had decided he wanted to introduce his favourite sibling (seeing as Hannah, Lucas, Rachel and Olivia had chosen to stay in Australia) to his friends and invited them all around. Changbin had walked into the living room only to see a boy with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen before, making his heart flutter. Changbin had already fully accepted he was gay and even informed his parents as such (it took them only about a week to fully come around to it, after all, Changbin sorta sprung it on them at the same time his sister told them she was bi), but he had never met a boy that made his heart flutter as much as Felix Lee (Chan and Felix step-siblings, Chan's mother married Felix's father). 

 

Even with the language barrier they all had, Felix hit it off with each and every one of them, and Changbin made it his effort to grow closer to the sunshine of a boy that was Felix. By the time Felix had to return to Australia, none of them wanted him to leave, especially Chan (who loved having his baby brother with him) and Changbin (who had realized just how serious his crush was on the younger). After a tearful goodbye, Felix had each of their emails, phone numbers and address so he could send things to them. 

 

Their friendships remained strong, with Felix returning the next break he had to visit again. 

 

It came as a surprise to them all apart from Chan when Felix showed up at their high school for his first year, revealing he had chosen to become an international student like Chan. 

 

Changbin would forever remember the moment when 14-year-old Felix tackled him in a surprise hug, yelling out,  _ “I missed you Binnie hyung! _ ” in front of all their classmates, startling most of them. Changbin had ignored them all, choosing to instead hug Felix back as hard as his 15-year-old body could. 

 

“Lix,” Changbin cooed as he went closer to Felix, who looked up and instantly smiled. 

 

“Binnie! What are you doing here? I thought you’d still be at the studio.” Felix greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, making him pout.

 

“Only the cheek? Lixie,” Changbin whined, earning a snort from a nearby Minho. Changbin just ignored him, he was worse than he was with Jisung.

 

Felix rolled his eyes, but leaned forwards, slotting their lips together briefly before planting a kiss on his nose and pinching his cheek, “Such a cutie,” 

 

Changbin slapped his hand away, grabbing Felix's bag and lifting it up, meeting the other's eyes. Changbin could drown in the fondness Felix held in his eyes and knew he mirrored them perfectly. 

 

“I thought we could get lunch then head back for the apartment for the rest of the day,” Changbin explained, “You don't have classes until tomorrow afternoon.” 

 

Felix hummed, intertwining their hands tightly, “Sounds perfect to me.” 

 

They both bid Hyunjin and Minho goodbyes, Felix swinging their hands softly as they made their way to their favourite cafe. It held many important memories for them both and always made them smile. 

 

The memory that always popped into Changbins head first was the memory of Felix and his first official date. 

 

At 16, Changbin had finally built up the courage to ask Felix out after getting permission from Chan (who threatened to skin him alive if he hurt Felix with a very wide smile on his face, Changbin had honestly never been so terrified). He had been stressing on how to ask Felix out when it just...happened. 

 

It had happened when Felix and Changbin had been studying together. Felix had been out sick for a little bit with a cold and was still recovering but he decided to toughen it out so he wouldn't get too far behind. Changbin had insisted he helped him, not wanting Felix to overdo himself (it was a common trait both Chan and Felix seemed to share, the others had to wonder if the rest of the siblings had it as well). 

 

They had been sitting in the school library, hidden away as Felix didn't want to disturb the other students with his sneezes too much. Changbin had looked up right when the sun hit Felix, making him literally glow. Even with his flushed cheeks and nose, purple bags under his eyes and cracked lips Felix looked beautiful to Changbin. 

 

He had ended up blurting out, “ _ Go out with me. _ ”

 

Felix had looked shocked, dropping his pen onto the table as he stared at his best friend. Changbin had blushed but he didn't take back his words, heart pounding. It seemed to beat out of his chest after Felix's lips morphed into a blinding smile and Felix said yes. 

 

They didn't end up having their date until Felix felt better, but it gave Changbin the chance to plan it (Minho had screeched in anger when he found out just how Changbin had asked Felix out and insisted Changbin plan the date well). He had decided to take Felix to the cafe they often frequented before taking him a zoo that he had been wanted to go to forever. 

 

The date had gone perfectly, everything coming naturally to them both as walked the streets hand in hand, both blushing but wide grins on there faces. Changbin had spent most of the date staring in awe at Felix, especially when they arrived at the zoo. It was clear to Changbin to see just how much Felix adored animals, rambling facts constantly as he tugged Changbin around, smiling sheepishly as the night came to an end. 

 

By the end of the night,  Changbin had built up the courage to officially ask Felix to be his boyfriend and the rest of was history. 

 

The two settled into their normal booth after getting there food and drinks, instantly diving into the food like starved animals. 

 

Felix swallowed, “How was the studio?” 

 

Changbin sighed, “There's this one part is still not happy with, it just doesn't sound right to me.”

 

Felix nodded, “If you want, I can take a listen later.” 

 

Changbin smiled softly, “That'd be nice.” 

 

The two held a comfortable silence as they finished up their lunch, throwing away the wrappers and bidding the cafe workers goodbye before setting off towards their apartment. 

 

Their apartment. 

 

Changbin remembered when they had first found the place, a steal in a beautiful old building. It was tiny, on the roof and you had to climb a bunch of stairs to get to it but it was home to them.

 

The two had decided to move out of the dorms and officially in together in Felix's first year of University. It was hard trying to find an affordable place close enough to both their schools, but luck would have it when Changbin stumbled upon the ad. 

 

It seemed to be too good to be real but when Changbin and Chan went to go check out the place, it was perfect. It had a beautiful view, french bay doors that separated bedroom to the rest of the apartment. Hardwood floors and high ceilings. A small rooftop garden that overlooked Seoul. 

 

Chan had gotten this fond look on his face as he looked around, explaining quietly how the apartment while having the typical elements of a normal Korean apartment, reminded him in style of Australia. 

 

Changbin had signed the lease that day. 

 

A plan was created by Changbin to surprise Felix with the apartment for their 3rd anniversary. Minho and Jeongin would distract him with an all-day shopping, dinner and movie session so the rest of them could move Felix and Changbins furniture into the apartment. Changbin had watched carefully at everything Felix liked in the stores they visited while shopping, quietly returning and buying the items the next day and hiding them away in a storage locker, of course buying things he liked as well along the way. 

 

Through many bumps and bruises, the boys managed to set up the apartment, falling into the couch in exhaustion as Changbin fluttered around, eyes looking everything over. 

 

Later, when it came time to actually show Felix the apartment, Changbin would stutter and his hands would shake nervously as he opened the door. Felix would have to calm him down, among gently as he held Changbins hand as the other finally opened the door. 

 

All of Changbins nerves would dissipate as Felix's eyes widened in shock as Changbin told him it was there's. He would also end up getting a bruise from how hard Felix tackled him into a hug. 

 

As the door opened, the familiar quacking of Felix's duck Joe greeted them along with the quiet meows of Yu. Changbin knew that Martha and Steve were probably hissing in there cage on the roof (don't worry it was well protected and perfect for them, Felix was a zoology student). 

 

Felix had gotten Joe by accident when the duckling for separated from its mother and ended up imprinting in him in Changbins last year of high school. He had shown up late to class with the duckling in his pocket and explained it was there new son, Joe. Changbin only nodded dumbly. Joe clearly favoured Felix, and had a habit of being overly protective of them both, once biting Hyunjin when he came in unannounced. 

 

Yu was a kitten that Changbin had found in a box on the side of the street outside of the studio one night. It had been winter, freezing outside and Yu had been covered in frostbite. Changbin had ended up panicking and calling Felix, who calmly explained what to do while letting his co-workers know what was happening. Later, after Yu was healthy enough the two adopted her. Joe and she were best friends, instantly accepting one another. 

 

Martha and Steve had come together. They were an orange and white pair of Corn Snakes Felix had taken in after they were dropped off anonymously at the shelter he volunteered at. They were pretty chill animals, although they had a habit of hiding in hoodies and jackets. There has been more than one occasion one of them has slipped into Changbins clothes and he's brought them with him. 

 

Joe came running towards them and Changbin patted him on the head, placing his keys in the bowl next to the door as Felix slipped off his shoes. 

 

“Your mother wants me to remind you about dinner on Friday,” Felix said as they both settled into the couch, the animals going somewhere in the apartment. “Your sister and her family are coming as well.” 

 

Changbin pouted, “Great, so I get to lose you for the night to them?” 

 

Felix laughed softly, eyes twinkling as he grabbed Changbins hand between his own. “I have to get my gossip from somewhere babe,” 

 

“Kunwoos gonna be stuck to you like glue,” Changbins said as he threaded his fingers together with Felix, shifting his body so he was closer to the male. “I'd say he loved you more than I do, but we both know that's impossible.” 

 

Kunwoo was Changbins 5-year-old nephew who simply adored Felix ever since he was born. He would stick like glue to the older boy, clinging to him and screaming when it was time to be separated from the ginger-haired boy. Kunwoo would follow him around whenever he saw him. His first word was even, “Lix,”

 

Changbins parents and sister found it adorable, but to Changbin it was like the little menace was stealing his boyfriend from him each time. Sure, he was jealous of a 5-year-old, but when that 5-year-old constantly was cuddling up to your boyfriend when it should have been you, you get a little jelly. 

 

The little brat even asked Felix to marry him once, smiling sweetly towards Felix as he clings to his leg. Changbin had instantly tugged him away, saying, “Hey! If anyone's marrying Felix, it's gonna me you brat!” 

 

“Speaking of Kunwoo, he has a recital tomorrow he wants us both to go too,” Felix said, smiling's softly. 

 

“You mean he wants you to go too and you're dragging me along.” Changbin deadpanned. 

 

Felix rolled his eyes, “Is it bad I want my boyfriend to go to his nephew's things? Believe it or not but Kunwoo looks up to you a lot, and you two actually have a lot in common.” 

 

“Like what?” 

 

“Like loving me!” Felix responded cheekily, grinning widely. 

 

Changbin smiled, “Well you’re not wrong there.” 

 

Felix's grin melted into a soft smile as he laid his head on Changbins shoulder, Changbin laying his on top of Felix's. 

 

The two fell into a soft silence, simply enjoying each others company, only broken by the sounds of quacking and meowing coming from the bedroom. 

 

Changbin had fallen into a slight daze when a loud crash startled him awake. Loud quacking and hissing followed and both boys groaned before staggering towards the bedroom, wondering what Joe and Yu had gotten into this time. 

 

It turns out they had managed to knock over the dresser, emptying the drawers onto the plush carpet Felix insisted on. 

 

Felix sighed before chuckling, patting the two animals heads as he knelt down, “You two sure know how to stir up trouble.” 

 

Changbin rolled his eyes, yawning before lifting the dresser back up slowly as Felix began to pick up the contents of the drawers. 

 

It wasn't until Changbin spotted Felix reaching towards a small velvet box that he remembered he had hidden the ring in the back of the drawer. 

 

Suddenly wide awake, Changbin tensed as Felix's hand wrapped around it, lifting it slowly. 

 

“Changbin?” Felix whispered, looking up towards the older, “Is this what I think it is?”

 

Changbin groaned, hiding his face in his hands, “Shit. You weren't meant to find that yet.” 

 

Felix grinned widely, “So it is what I think it is!” 

 

“God Minho's going to murder me,” Changbin moaned, “I still have nightmares from when he found out how I asked you out.” 

 

Felix giggled, holding the box tightly in his hand as his eyes seemed to glow. Nodding his head towards one of the drawers that didn't empty he spoke, “Open that and look in the back.”

 

Face aflame, Changbin followed the youngers instructions, eyes wide as he found a similar box to the one Felix was currently holding. 

 

Turning back around to face the younger, he found Felix smiling so beautifully that he felt his heart stutter. “Binnie, I’ve been in love with you since  I was 12 and could barely speak Korean. Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again. You make me so happy I feel like I’m going to burst most of the time. You put up with my quirks and embrace my strangeness. Hell, you let me keep Joe around even after he shat in your favourite hat. Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?”

 

Changbin nodded, tears falling from his eyes as he knelt in front of Felix, letting the younger take the box from him carefully and pull out a beautiful silver ring with a moon engraved on it. ‘To my Binnie, love always Felix.’ was on the inside of the ring, carved delicately. As Felix slide the ring on his finger, Changbin pulled the box containing Felix's ring towards him, taking a deep breath. 

 

“Lixie, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I walked into your house and saw you sitting on the couch, stuffing your face with chips. Every day I fall deeper and deeper in love with you. You are my other half, my sun to my moon. You make the dark days bearable and the good ones even better. I can’t picture my life without you ever. You are my heart. Will you continue to put up with me and become my husband?” 

 

Felix smiled sweetly, “Of course.” As tears began to fall down Felix's own cheeks, Changbin carefully slides the matching ring (now Changbin understood Minho and Chan's insistence to the sun ring compared to the others) onto Felix's finger. ‘To my heart, love forever Changbin’ carved on the inside of the silver ring, a star on the outside, both cared with the same delicacy as Changbins own ring. 

 

As soon as the ring was on, Felix placed his hands on the sides of Changbins face, gently tugging him closer and pressing a sweet, yet passionate kiss to his lips. 

 

The two spent the rest of the night cuddled together, exchanging kisses every once and awhile. Changbin found himself constantly staring towards the rings, a wide smile covering his lips as he squeezed Felix's hand, tugging the younger closer. 

 

“My mums gonna freak,” Felix said softly, running a finger over his ring as he cuddled into Changbins chest. 

 

“Minho's going to freak,” Changbin countered, sending Felix into a fit of giggles. It was widely known that Minho was a big romantic, and as Felix's Lee Brother (the two had coined that back in their first year of high school) he was heavily invested in the Changlix relationship. 

 

Minho had insisted he come along when Changbin mentioned he was searching for a ring for Felix, and in the end provided the best advice (Chan just got starry-eyed while looking at all the rings, thinking of Woojin), guiding him towards the ring on Felix's finger. 

 

“Minho can be intense, but he means well,” Felix said, watching as Changbin intertwined their hands, matching up the sun and moon engraving before resting their hands on his chest, over his heart. 

 

The two fell into a soft sleep, hearts beating as one as the held one another tightly. 

 

Changbin didn't want to part from Felix the next morning but relevantly did so when Felix pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips in goodbye, shoving a coffee into his hands as he made his way out of the apartment to his own class. 

 

“I'll see you after class babe,” he said, smiling widely, “Bet you I can hide it longer than you~”

 

Changbin chuckled, “Yeah right! You got Minho!” 

 

“But Jisungs also in my class, he’ll be too busy flirting with him to notice.”

 

“We’ll see, Minho is really observant.”

 

“See you later! Remember to call your mom!” Felix waved as he exited the apartment, grinning widely as his ring flashed in the light. “Love you, babe!”

 

“Love you too!”

 

Changbin sighed, settling back on the couch. A smile formed on his lips as his eyes found his ring, feeling like a school girl at the glee building up in him. He was going to be married to Felix Lee. He would be his husband. 

 

Trying to hold himself together, he decided to call his mother before he ended up forgetting. 

 

Felix and his mother (sometimes his father joined, other times he didn't) had little dates out together. They would spend the day shopping and gossiping, catching up. Mrs. Seo loved them, especially when she got the chance to show off her future son in law to her friends, who also agreed Felix was too good for Changbin. 

 

“Hello dear,” his mother said as she answered, “I’d say I 'm surprised you remembered to call but Felix warned me,” 

 

Changbin huffed, “I swear you talk to him more than my mum! I’m you, actual son, you know!” 

 

His mother laughed lightly, “And would you have time to talk as much as myself and Felix do, honey?”

 

Changbin pouted, “No…”

 

“Besides, I simply adore that boy of yours. He really is too good for you Changbin, honey, after all, your angsty teenage years you put him through.” 

 

Changbin sighed, “Yeah your right...but he’s stuck with me forever now Mom,”

 

Silence. Then Changbin went deaf in one ear as his mother screamed into the phone in glee, “Oh my god! OH MY GOD HONEY! THEY DID IT! CHANGBIN FINALLY BUILT UP THE BALLS TO ASK FELIX TO MARRY HIM!” 

 

Changbin blushed, “M-mom!”

 

“Oh, Changbin I’m so happy for you!” He swore his mother was crying more than he did (that was a lie, Changbin had bawled like a baby), “I can't wait to watch my baby boy go down the aisle, just wait till Mrs. MIn hears about this!”

Changbin frowned, “Mom, your just happy Felix will literally be your son, admit it. You’ve been trying to adopt him since you met him.”

 

“While that may be true, I really am happy and proud of you Binnie. You and Felix are so clearly meant to be.” His mother's voice turned soft, “I can still remember the first time you brought Felix home.”

 

Changbin could too. He had been 16 and still in his emo phase (which he never truly got out of, let's be honest). Felix had been over at his house before, but just as friends, not as boyfriends. Changbin had been the nervous one, while Felix simply held his hand and smiled brightly as Changbin stuttered out to his parents that Felix was his boyfriend. His sister had snorted and smiled, saying how proud she was that he finally worked up the courage to ask Felix out on a date. His father had groaned before handing his mother (who looked smug) a 2000 won. 

 

The night went well, Felix and his sister sharing embarrassing stories with one another, his mother sometimes joining in while his father attempted to steal Felix's attention with sports on the television. After Changbin returned from dropping Felix off at his house, his mother had cornered him and given him a stern talking to about treating Felix well.

 

Changbin chatted with his mother for a little bit longer, showing Joe away from his sandwich with an, “You know you're not allowed on the table - hey that's my turkey, you cannibal!”

 

He sighed as he hung up. According to his mother, Kunwoos recital didn't start until 5 and would end at 7-8 ish and he was expected to come and not pick a fight with the 5-year-old over his fiancee. Again.  

 

He scowled at the memory of his nephew capturing Felix’s attention, hoarding it to himself like the gremlin he was. 

 

“Babe, I’m home!” he heard Felix call as the front door opened, quacking and meowing following as Felix entered the apartment. “You better have called your mom or I’m not letting you have any of these cookies I brought!”

 

Changbin chuckled before making his way towards his fiancee, who was gently placing coffee and a bag of pastries on the table while trying to keep Joe from jumping on it. 

 

“Joe-” Felix groaned, barely catching the duck as he almost slid off the chair, “Be careful you silly thing. Jisoo still hasn't forgiven me from the last time you bit her during your checkup.” 

 

“Jisoo also had to get stitches, I understand the grudge,” Changbin commented, eyes brightening as he noticed his favourite cookies in the bag. 

 

Felix pouted, “Joe didn't mean it, did you, Joe?” 

 

Changbin swore the duck nodded, letting a QUACK out that sounded like an agreement to him. He eyed the duck, eyes narrowing. ‘Joe if you can hear me, quack once.’ 

 

QUACK. Changbin froze, mouth dropping open. No way. 

 

Felix, unaware of CHangbins mental struggle at that moment, sighed, taking a sip of his coffee before darting closer and pressing a kiss to Changbins cheek. “Hurry up and eat some babe, I told your sister we’d head over to their house before so I can help her with her outfit.” 

 

Changbin came back to motion as Felix walked away towards the bedroom, finally grabbed a cookie and shoving it in his mouth.

 

He and Joe held eye contact for a few seconds before Changbin pointed at him, “You need to start helping out around this apartment, you hear me? I know you can understand me now,” he pointed towards Yu who had joined them at the table, “You too little miss,” 

 

“Changbin, stop scaring the kids.” Felix called from the bedroom, “Are you done porking out on the cookies? I got your clothes laid out!”

 

Shoving the last cookie in his mouth, he went to the bedroom, tripping on a duck and cat along the way. 

 

Felix was standing in their closet, looking through his own clothes. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled fondly, “They're on the bed. I made sure it was mostly black in your protest to showing familial support.”

 

“It's not that I don’t want to-” Changbin said as he stripped down to his boxers, tossing the dirty clothes into the laundry (or at least he tried), “its that somehow I always lose you to a 5-year-old by the end of the night.” 

 

Felix rolled his eyes, pulling out a sweater to look at before deciding it was the one, turning around to see Changbin half stuck in his shirt. Giggling, he strode over to his fiancee, carefully tugging the shirt over his head to see a sheepishly grinning Changbin, “You may lose me for the night, but I’ll always come back to you, love.” 

 

Their lips met in a sweet kiss before Felix pulled back, eyebrow raised as he wiped crumbs from the side of Changbins face. Changbin put on a defensive look, “What? It was a good cookie!”

 

Stepping back, Felix simply shook his head, “Clearly.” his eyes twinkled in mischief before he quickly slapped Changbins ass, darting into the bathroom to avoid his retaliation. 

 

“You little shit! That hurt!” Changbin hissed, “You have a ring on you know!” 

 

“Yeah! You gave it to me!” Felix called back over the sound of running water.

 

A grin covered Changbins face at the reminder, “Yeah...I did, didn't I?” 

 

Silence, then:

 

QUACK. “It was a rhetorical question, Joe!” 

 

QUACK. “Don’t sass me!”

 

“...are you really arguing with the duck right now?” Felix asked as he opened the bathroom door, hair fluffed up and earrings in. He raised an eyebrow at Changbin who was in awe of his fiancee. 

 

“How did I get so lucky to have you, damn babe,” Changbin shamelessly looked him up and down, “Wanting to impress some of the young teachers?” 

 

Felix rolled his eyes, grabbing his backpack from the ground and shoving his wallet inside, “Yeah, I’m afraid I’m leaving you Changbin for Mrs.Kim,” 

 

Changbin nodded, “Understandable, she’s rich as fuck. You’re gonna have to break it to my parents though. They’re going to be devastated.” 

 

Felix laughed, “Don’t worry, I’ll let them down gently.” 

 

Changbin stood up, back hugging Felix, resting his chin on his shoulder, “Good, don’t want my mom to have a heart attack.”

 

Felix turned in Changbins arm's, wrapping his arm's around the older waist, “I booked us a table at that restaurant you love for after the recital.” 

 

Changbin squeezed him in excitement, “You didn't? Really? That place has to be booked months ahead how did you get in?” 

 

Felix smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have been planning on proposing to you tonight…” 

 

Changbin smiled softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of Felix's lips, “Your such a sap baby,”

 

Felix snorted, “Like you aren't. You literally engraved, my heart on my ring.”

 

Changbin blushed, “Let's just agree we’re both saps for each other,” 

 

“Aw, are you getting embarrassed?” Felix teased, “Remember back when you insisted you were dark and mysterious?”  

 

Changbin straightened, “Oh look at the time babe we’re gonna be late!” 

 

Felix laughed loudly, grabbing his backpack and putting it on. “Come on Mr. I love Dark.” 

 

Changbin groaned, leaving Felix's side to go and make sure the snakes had food, Felix dealing with the duck and cat. 

 

“How’s it going Martha, Steve?” Changbin muttered as he opened the cage, receiving light hisses in response. “I’m still angry at you Steve, you know not to slither into pockets. You scared the poor barista half to death.” 

 

Felix chuckled, “Remember when I first found Joe?”

 

Did Changbin ever. Felix had been late to school, making Changbin worried as he texted him non stop, even asking Chan were his brother was. Just when Changbin was about to excuse himself from class to go search for the boy, he had come running in the room looking slightly like a mess. 

 

The teacher had pardoned him with a warning and Felix had slumped into his chair, panting, next to Changbin who instantly passed his water bottle to him. Felix had sent him a smile as he chugged the bottle, quickly getting his things for the class ready. 

 

Changbin settled down beside him, mentally stating he would interrogate the younger later. That's when he heard it. A Quack. 

 

At first, Changbin thought he was hearing things. Then he heard it again. And again. And again. 

 

His confusion had caught Felix's attention and said boy shuffled down in his seat and carefully opened the pocket on his jacket. Changbin had looked inside, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was, only to be met with a fluffy yellow duckling. 

 

“You used to carry him around like he was a puppy, ” Changbin said dryly, remembering the number of times he’d have to apologize for his finances duck in cafes or stores while Felix chased the duck around. 

 

“They grow up so fast,” Felix pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, the sunlight from the window casting rainbow across his cheek as he smiled towards Changbin. 

 

“Come on, old man, let's get to my sisters before she calls.” Changbin chuckled, intertwining their hands, letting their rings come together.

 

The two made their way to the bus stop, climbing on and ignoring the stares they received. It was a common thing to them now, after all, they were an openly gay couple in Korea where it normally wasn't shown.

 

The stares had been around since the early days of their relationship, but thankfully, for the most part, they hadn’t been openly harassed.  

 

The only clear thing Changbin could remember was being asked to leave a store once it became clear they weren’t just close friends. Changbin hadn't even been that angry until he saw how the store clerk had looked towards Felix as he bowed to him with so much disgust and hatred on his face. 

 

That night Felix had to calm Changbin down as he ranted and raved in his bedroom, his mother and father confused as to what happened. Felix had ended up telling them after Changbin wore himself out.

 

“Babe, whatcha thinking so hard about?” Felix asked, pressing a kiss to the back of Changbins hand. 

 

Changbin hummed, shaking his head softly, “Just about how much I love you.” 

 

Felix blushed, making his freckles stand out against his tan skin, “Oh shut up you sappy old man,” 

 

Changbin smiled cheekily, “You love this sappy old man,” 

 

Felix smiled softly, eyes glowing like honey in the sunlight, “With all my heart,”

 

Changbin smiled back, fully knowing he looked like a lovesick fool as he stared at Felix. 

 

Felix had been the one to first say the words out loud. It had been on their first anniversary, on the roof of Felix's host house at the end of a magical date. Changbin had known he was in love with the younger since the day he finally built up the courage to ask Felix out but hadn’t uttered the words out loud.

 

Felix had looked at him directly in the eyes, hair blowing softly in the wind as the moonlight made his skin glow. Back then, Felix still had brown hair that made his eyes look even darker than they normally were. Changbin had been so distracted by staring into his eyes, he nearly hadn't heard Felix say it. 

 

“Binnie, I love you,” Changbin remembered his heart almost stopping in shock and happiness, “With all my heart,”

 

What happened next wasn't exactly what you’d expect to happen when your boyfriend finally tells you he loves you. Instead of confessing back, Changbin proceeded to roll off the roof in shock, breaking Felix’s host mother's flowers and getting a nasty bruise on his back. Not exactly the most romantic response. 

 

The two got off the bus at their stop, bowing to an older couple who smiled softly towards them both.

 

They aimlessly chatted as they walked down the street towards the apartment building that housed Changbins sister, her husband, and his nephew.

 

“Finally!” Haeun said as she opened the door, Kunwoo squealing as soon as he spotted Felix, “Come on Lix, I need help choosing between two outfits.” 

 

Instantly Felix was being dragged off by his sister, Kunwoo stumbling after them both as Changbin entered the apartment, making his way towards the living room where his brother in law sat.

 

“Heya Changbin,” Byungho said as he sat on the couch, eyes instantly noticing the ring that sat on Changbins finger. “Did you finally work up the guts?”

 

Changbin blushed, “Felix beat me to it.” 

 

Byungho smiled, going to speak when the telltale squeal of his sister came from the bedroom. He chuckled, “Seems like Haeun found Felix's ring.”

 

Changbin said nothing, simply smiling as he heard his sister's excited voice carrying into the living room. 

 

His sister had been his biggest support when it came to asking Felix out finally. She and Chan had been the only two he told that he wanted and they both had helped him work up the courage, both him that Felix did indeed like him back. It helped that Felix and Haeun were also close friends, both being on the dance team alongside Hyunjin and Minho back in high school. 

 

“Seo Changbin how dare you not tell me!” Haeun came bursting into the room, pointing a finger towards her baby brother. 

 

Felix smiled sheepishly from the doorway of the bedroom, Kunwoo on his hip as Changbin was chewed out by his sister for not telling her the instant it happened. 

 

“Ya-” Changbin stumbled to his feet as Haeun pulled him up, wrapping him into a tight hug, “I’m so happy for you both Binnie,” 

 

Changbin smiled softly, hugging her back before shoving her away lightly, “Enough with the mushy stuff, go get ready.” 

 

After another 20 minutes of Haeun getting ready (10 of those consisted of getting Kunwoo into his suit) the five of them were off to the elementary school. 

 

There they met Changbins parents, his mother dragging Felix into a hug and demanding to see the ring the moment she laid eyes on him, Changbins father clapping Changbin on the back in congratulations. 

 

They all piled into the auditorium, finding decent seats to watch the recital. Changbin admitted that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, but he mostly accounted it to when Felix was dragged onstage by Kunwoo to dance with him (most children grabbed their parents, but Kunwoo instantly ran towards Felix, who happily agreed to dance). Changbin had a hard time controlling his laughter as Felix danced full hardly to the tooty-taw alongside a bunch of giggling 5-8-year-olds.

 

It was hard trying to drag Kunwoo away from Felix after the recital was over, the boy wanting to introduce his Lix to all his friends, all of whom seemed to be amazed by the freckles on the boy's cheeks as he let them trace them. 

 

Changbin had watched it happen with a fond smile on his face, remembering a time when Felix refused to let his freckles be seen, a layer of foundation covering the beloved dots no matter how many times his friends told them they weren't ugly. It took a while, but Felix finally came to a point where he loved his freckles and wore them proudly, even gaining some more over the years. 

 

Finally, Changbin and Felix parted from the others, waving goodbye as Kunwoo complained. They hailed a taxi and arrived at the restaurant not long after, smiling widely at the waiters and waitresses that greeted them.

 

The two spent the whole dinner getting lost in each other's eyes, hands openly being held on top of the table as they waited for their food. At one point, a woman had spotted the matching rings and had smiled fondly at them both, glancing at her own ring. By the end of the night, Changbin swore he had fallen even more in love with the boy he got to call his.

 

“Let's take a walk, yeah?” Felix asked as they exited the restaurant, hands tightly held together. 

 

Seeing it was a nice night, Changbin nodded, squeezing Felix's hand in his own for a second. 

 

The two began to walk down the empty street, simply enjoying one another's presence as the moon came out from behind the clouds. 

 

Changbin didn't even notice the hooded figure until they were right in front of them, something shiny reflecting in the moonlight catching his attention. 

 

Instantly, he tensed, realizing what was being pointed towards them. 

 

The hooded figures hand seemed to tremble slightly as he aimed the gun at chest length, “Wallet. Now.”

 

Felix seemed to be able to move, shoving Changbin behind him slightly as he raised his hands in surrender. 

 

“Give me your money, now!” the man yelled out, sounding slightly panicked. “Do it!”

 

“Ok man, I'll give it to you, just calm down, alright?” Felix said, slowly moving his hand towards where his wallet was located in his back pocket. Changbin didn't move an inch, not even breathing. His eyes never left the gun pointed towards them, noting the trembling hands the male held it with getting worse. 

 

Felix slowly pulled out the wallet, raising it up to show what it was. “I'm going to give it to you, ok?”

 

Everything happened to Changbin in slow motion. He watched almost as if he was out of his own body as Felix took one step forwards, standing slightly in front of Changbins body as he lifted the wallet towards the male. 

 

At the same time, a cat yowled near the back of the alley, startling the male with the gun. 

 

Changbin would never forget the sound of the gun going off.

 

At first, Changbin thought the shot had missed, hit the wall or shot off somewhere. Then, Felix's arm slowly lowered, leather jacket shifting to reveal the growing red patch on his previously pure white shirt, a single hole in the middle.

 

“Holy shit-” the male yelped, sounding shocked at what he had done. 

 

Changbin watched in horror as Felix wavered, mouth opening and closing, silent words forming. He could only rush forwards to catch Felix as he began to fall, lowering him gently to the ground. 

 

Pressing his hand against the gunshot wound, Changbin swore, ignoring the stinging in his eyes as he cupped Felix's cheek with his other one. Felix's eyes were glazed over, no longer looking as bright as before. Only the light breath that hit his hand confirmed Felix was still alive.

 

The clatter of the gun falling into the pavement filled the alley, followed by pounding footsteps as the assailant took off, leaving the two boys on the ground. Changbin barely noticed, too focused on Felix to care. 

 

“Felix,” he said, “stay awake, you hear me?” 

 

Slowly, Felix's eyes drifted to Changbins face, his hand reaching towards the elder's chest before gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly, his ring twinkling in the streetlights glow. He didn't say anything, simply studying the others face as it was the last time he would see it. 

 

“Your gonna be ok, alright?” Changbin ignored the tears dripping onto Felix's too pale face, “Help is - help is coming.”

 

Someone must have called the police, for Changbin could hear the telltale sirens getting closer and closer. 

 

“...I'm sorry,” Felix whispered, sounding wet. 

 

Changbin held him closer, the top half of the youngest body pulled into his lap. “What are you sorry for, eh? Your gonna be fine.”

 

Felix swallowed, or at least tried too. Red was dripping from the corner of his lips, making a streak down his chin. Changbin never hated the colour more.

 

“Your gonna be ok,” Changbins voice cracked. 

 

“Binnie…” Felix wheezed now, “can you tell Hyunjinne I'm sorry for missing his birthday?” 

 

Changbin ignored Felix putting even more pressure on the wound, wincing at the sound the fabric of Felix's shirt made.

 

“And tell Woojin hyung and Chan hyung not to stress about their wedding? It's going to be...going to be wonderful. Channies gonna need a new best man though...” 

 

“Shut up,” Changbin muttered, digging his teeth into his lower lip in an attempt to stop the sobs from breaking free.

 

A smile graced Felix's lips, sad and thoughtful, “Tell Seungmin and Jisung I'm sorry for ditching the trio, but they should keep it up a  duo…”

 

Changbin let out a sob. The sirens sounded farther now, echoing in his ears.

 

“Tell...tell Minho hyung to keep up his bundles...and,” Felix coughed, red spitting out, “we'll always be Lee bros.” Felix tried to swallow, “And tell Innie to not cry, I hate it when he...he cries.”

 

Changbin buried his head in Felix's hair, felling the fluffy strands dampen. 

 

“I want them all - I want them all to know I'm sorry.” Felix sounded weaker, yet his voice never stopped, “That I cherished every moment with them. They are my family...I love them.” 

 

Changbin cursed the world. 

 

“Most of all...I want you to know that I love you, Binnie…” Felix sounded softer, “I want you to keep our memories….but make new ones.” 

 

Changbin held his breath. 

 

“To find love again, to s-smile and laugh.” Felix's grip was becoming looser, “You're not allowed to be unhappy. Ever. Not my Binnie.” 

 

“How can I be happy without you? Its impossible,” Changbin sobbed out, curling into the boy that was his world. Felix was the thing that made him get out of bed, eat, sleep, have friends and actually talk to his family. Felix was the reason why Changbin had a life outside of his studio, the reason why he smiled every day. It was always Changbin and Felix. Felix and Changbin. Ever since the day they met, Felix had been the one. His reason for living. His sun. What was he without his sun?

 

“You can...it's easy…” Felix said, and Changbin realized just how slowly he was breathing. “You can do it hyung...I believe in you.” 

 

Changbin broke. He was losing Felix. His Felix. 

 

“I can’t-” 

 

“I’m so glad I got to spend the time we had together,” Felix put his hand on Changbins cheek, brushing the tears away the best he could, a smile on his lips, “I wish we had longer. Thank you for making my life worthwhile Seo Changbin.”

 

“Felix-” Changbin placed his hand over Felix's, holding it there as he felt it began to weaken. “Please don't leave me-”

 

“You are my sunshine...my only sunshine…” Felix sang softly, eyes fluttering. It was if he was trying to comfort Changbin, singing the song he used to help the older fall asleep on nights he tossed and turned in their bed. “You make me happy when skies are….grey.” 

 

Changbin swore he saw flashing lights. 

 

“You'll never know dear how much….I love you,” Felix was losing even more grip in Changbins shirt. “So please don't take my sunshine…” 

 

Changbin waited for him to finish. But all he felt was one long breath and nothing. 

 

So Changbin took one long breath in and screamed. 

  
  


Changbin had never hated the sky more than he did at that moment. 

 

It was sunny out, only a few clouds in the sky as the wind blew the trees softly. He leaned against the window, squinting towards the sun and wishing it would just go out. 

 

How fair was it the world got to keep their sun when Changbins had been burnt out, the flames only smoke. 

 

Changbin cursed the sun, wishing it would go away and cast him in the darkness that matched the cold he felt ever since that night. 

 

He tightened his hands in his jacket sleeve, fingers turning white as he caught sight of the ring on his finger. 

 

Red stained his hands no matter how hard he scrubbed at the flesh, making the ring shine even more. 

 

There was a knock at the door but Changbin didn't react, instead of letting his eyes drift towards the cars in the parking lot. 

 

“Changbin,” his mother touched his shoulder gently, and Changbin forced himself to turn and face her. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“It's time, honey.” His mother had puffy eyes and tear tracts staining her skin. Her eyes were red, much like Changbins own. 

 

Changbin looked down at the ground, eyeing the shiny black shoes that looked out of place on him. But he couldn't let Felix down, he had to look his best for him. 

 

Changbin allowed his mother to guide him out of the room, his footsteps feeling heavier and heavier as he neared the room that held his beloved. 

 

He kept his gaze down towards his feet as he entered, ignoring the stares of those in the room. 

 

“Changbin,” he looked up at the sound of Felix's brother's voice. Chan looked like a mess, his hair looking like he had been running his hands through it constantly, eye bags looking heavier than ever. Woojin stood not to fair behind him and he spotted the others each standing close to one another. 

 

“Chan-” Changbin let Chan wrap his arm's tightly around him, closing his eyes for a brief second to allow himself to believe it was Felix, not Chan, hugging him. But as he opened his eyes, Chan’s pale skin met his view and not Felix's tan skin. 

 

Chan said nothing as he pulled away from Changbin, understanding the emotions playing in the other boy's eyes. 

 

Changbin looked away, back towards the ground. 

 

He barely noticed as the funeral officially started, eyes never leaving the hardwood floors. 

 

He only looked up when he heard Kunwoo talk.

 

The 5-year-old was confused as to why his favourite person wouldn't wake up, consistently trying to make Felix open his eyes. 

 

“WHy won't Lixie wake up mommy?” Changbin had to squeeze his eyes shut. 

 

“Lixies…” he could hear the sob in Haeun’s voice, “He’s just really sleepy honey,”

 

“Like sleeping beauty?” 

“Yeah, like Sleeping Beauty,”

 

“Then why can’t Binnie wake him up with a kiss?”

 

A sob tore out of Changbins throat, and before he knew it he was rushing out of the funeral home, running away. 

 

No one stopped him. 

 

Changbin somehow ended up near the forest, face wet with tears as he clenched his fists in anger. 

 

With a shout, he punched a nearby tree as hard as he could, skinning it partly of its bark, before leaning on it for support as his legs trembled beneath him. 

 

Sobs wracked through his body, “Why?” 

 

Silence. 

 

“Why did you have to take him?” Changbin cried out to the sky, “It's not fair! He didn’t deserve to die you bastard!” 

 

Changbin didn't even know who he was screaming too anymore. It wasn't like anyone was listening in the first place. 

 

Changbin knelt by Felix's gravestone after he trudged back to the church, legs weak underneath him. 

 

Flowers and little figurines had been placed in front of the rosy coloured stone, the branches of the old willow tree above it barely gracing the smooth stone. 

 

Changbin settled down, sitting cross-legged. He stared at the name carved delicately into the stone, ignoring the dirt getting on his suit.

 

He lifted a hand, carefully tracing the name out, fingers feeling the grooves in the stone. 

 

“I miss you.” his voice didn't even sound like his anymore, “its been 3 days since….”

 

He swallowed, hunching in on himself slightly, “I can’t sleep. I just lay awake and expect this to all be some nightmare, that maybe if I close my eyes you’ll be there when I wake up, trying to get Joe to stop bugging Yu, writing your notes. But your not.” 

 

The wind gently blew the willow branches above, almost in an answer. 

 

“I regret so many things. I wasn't the best person for you to fall in love with, you know?” Changbin dug his fingers into the dirt, “But you did. I put you through so much shit back in the day. I wasn’t the best boyfriend no matter how much you deny that.”

 

Changbin took a deep breath, looking towards the sky as he blinked away tears, “I’ll never regret loving you back. You told me to move on, but I don't think I’ll be able to Lix.” 

 

The wind answered, playing a sad tune as Changbin pulled his knees to his chest, his left hand on Felix's gravestone, ring glinting in the fading sunlight. 

 

Two months later found Changbin sitting on his couch with his sister, his mother and Chan all waiting. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he clenched his fingers in the fabric of his pants, listening to the three. 

 

“Changbin,” Haeun began, eyes sad, “We’re worried.”

 

“If you keep up with what you're doing, you're going to…” Chan didn't need to finish his sentence, “Felix wouldn't want you to do this to yourself.”

 

Changbin swallowed. He understood what they were talking about. He hadn't been outside unless it was to visit Felix's grave ever since the day they buried him. He just couldn't force himself to leave their….his apartment. He knew he was a mess. Without Woojin bringing him and the pet's food, Changbin would have probably starved himself and them. He hadn't taken off Felix's hoodie and barely moved from the couch, mostly staring at a picture of Felix had had in his wallet. 

 

“Sweetie-” his mother started but Changbin threw up his hands. 

 

“I get it!” he couldn't stop the tears beginning to form, “I get I’m killing myself! I understand Felix wouldn't want me to be like this, but he isn't here now is he? He’s dead and I can’t stop thinking about him! I want my mind to stop, I want to stop dreaming about him only to wake up and not have him here!” Changbin was full on sobbing.

 

His mother carefully wrapped her arms around her son, tears falling out of her own eyes. 

 

“We promised each other forever - he broke that promise!” Changbin was breaking, “I want to hate him, but I can’t- I fucking can’t.” 

 

That night Changbin cried himself to sleep in his mother's arm's, only to wake up just as broken as before.

  
  


Changbin had been laying on the couch, eyes attached to the ceiling as he got lost in his thoughts when a loud bang came from the bedroom.

Forcing himself to stand and go to the sound, he smiled bittersweetly at the parallels this moment held to when Changbin and Felix had discovered each other's rings.

 

He arrived at what looked like an avalanche of things from the top of the closet. How they had fallen, he had no idea, instead, he made himself kneel and begin to pick up the objects. 

 

He paused when he found an unfamiliar box with his name on it. Holding it carefully, Changbin sat with his back against the bed, hands trembling slightly.

 

Gently, he pulled the top off of the box, setting it aside. The first thing that met his gaze was a photo of Felix and himself in high school. 

 

Holding it carefully, a smile found its way on his face from the expression on Felix's face, the boy looking disgusted as Changbin himself was half bent over laughing. Flipping the picture over, he was surprised to see Felix's familiar scrawl on the back. 

 

_ Binnie,  _

_ I remember when we were in high school, you made it your mission to tell me a joke every day. When I asked you why you responded you just wanted to see me smile. After that day, I made it my mission to smile at you every day for the rest of our lives.  _

_ Love, Felix _

 

Changbin smiled softly. What Felix had written was true. Back in High School, Changbin made it his mission to see Felix smile every day. Seeing Felix smile, made him smile.

 

Placing the photo gently beside him, he pulled out the next one. A laugh bubbled out of his throat as he remembered the photo. It was a photo from about a year ago at Changbins birthday party. Felix had pushed his face into the cake, not counting on Changbin to rub the frosting all over the side of Felix's head. Joe had then proceeded to hop on top of Changbins back as he grinned widely towards Felix, whose eyes were crinkled, cake covering the left side of his face but laughter in his gaze.

 

_ Binnie, _

_ I must admit, I didn't expect you to wipe half the frosting on my face, you sneaky old man. I can't believe your 21 already, geez. Think about it, that means I have loved you for almost 9 years! Wow...9 years. I can't help but hope we last for another 50 more, yeah? I love you so much Binnie Binnie Changbinnie~ _

_ Love, Felix _

 

Tears slowly began to drip down Changbins cheeks but he paid no mind, instead he began pulling out the next photo, and the next, and the next. The whole box was full of photos. Memoires. 

 

Finally, he pulled out a recent photo. It was a photo of the two of them sitting on the roof, a blanket over their shoulders. Changbin was in the middle of pointing towards the stars but Felix was gazing towards him, his honey eyes full of fondness and love as a soft smile graced his lips.

 

_ Changbin, _

_ I love you so much. Every time I  look at you, I fall in love all over again. We’ve had our fights, moments where everything hurt more than anything else. Moments where we’ve been apart from one another, sharing the same sky millions of miles apart. Moments together that never fall to make me smile as I remember them. Moments of laughter, smiles and sadness. Moments that define us as people, that help showcase our relationship for what it was. I’m so glad I agreed to visit Chris all those years ago even though I was scared. I’m glad I met you, made memories with you, watched you at your highest and your lowest. My heart is forever yours, no matter how far I go. I’ll only ever love you, Seo Changbin. That I can swear.  You may realize one day you deserve someone better than me, and I’ll accept it as long as you are happy. I can only hope to be the reason you smile, be the one to shower you with love, be the one you wake up at 3 am stumbling into our apartment, the one that listens to you argue with the pets like they're our children. The one you someday marry, get a house, adopt with.  _

_ Changbin, you make me so happy, I’ll scream it from the rooftops.  _

_ Thank you for loving me back.  _

_ I love you forever my Moon, _

_ Your Felix _

 

Changbin sobbed, tracing Felix's face in the photo before shoving his head in his hands. He curled in on himself, surrounded by photos of his life with Felix.

  
  


For Changbin, it took almost a year to get to the point were his life somewhat resembled what it once did. He went out, worked and hung out with friends. He even tried to date, once. It didn't end well. 

 

Changbin had long since accepted that he would never fully move on from Felix, never be able to fall in love again. Changbin had never been one to believe in soulmates, and yet Felix was just that for him. 

 

He spent more time with his family than ever, seeing them every chance he got. He even flew to Australia with Chan to visit Felix's family. He tried to keep on living, not for himself but for Felix. 

 

Changbin visited Felix’s grave at least every 2 weeks if not more. Sometimes he would sit under the willow tree and talk, other times he would simply listen to the branches hitting the stone lightly. 

 

“Chan and Woojins wedding is planned for next month,” Changbin said, sitting cross-legged on the new grass, “Chan didn’t get a new best man if your wondering. He said that was yours, and yours only, spot.”

 

He turned his gaze towards the cloudless sky, “Seungmin and Hyunjin are planning on getting married, and I know Jisungs looking for rings. I’m happy for them.”

 

Changbin sighed, closing his eyes briefly, “I just wish…” He wished so many things. Too many things. 

 

A bittersweet smile covered his lips, “Your Universtiy contacted me. They want me to walk across the stage for you. Get your degree. I didn't realize just how close you were Fe,”

 

The sound of birds cawing in the distance replaced the soft howl in the wind.

 

“Kunwoo asks about you. A lot. He still thinks you're just asleep...but we both know that isn't true. I wish it was.” 

 

The sun caused a glow to cover the stone slightly, casting a shadow over the carved name. 

 

“I miss you. The ache never stops.” Changbin muttered, resting a hand on top of the stone, “You’ll forever be the one for me, Felix Lee. But like you said. I need to be happy in my life, I need to make more memories that I can share with you later on.”

 

The wind whistles softly in agreement.

 

5 years later found Changbin in a much better place. He laughed freely, went out all the time and kept looking forwards towards the future. 

 

Chan and Woojin had been married for 4 years and had adopted twins named Sunjae and Jisoo, two loveable handfuls that caused a lot of mischief and chaos. 

 

Hyunjin and Seungmin had gotten married a year later and we're working towards the adoption of an adorable three-year-old named Jennie. 

 

Minho ended up proposing to Jisung 2 years later, and a similar fashion as to Felix and Changbin. Minho had ended up finding the ring before Jisung had the chance to ask him.  

 

Kunwoo had been gifted a little brother whom his sister had named Yongbok in honour of Felix. She had carefully asked her brother if he would be alright with it, only to be met with agreeance. Changbin thought Felix would be honoured to have someone named after him. \

 

Changbin had good days, but he also had bad days. 

 

He had days where he reverted to his past, hiding away from everyone and surrounding himself in sadness and sorrow. On those days, Changbin pulled out the box of memories Felix had created and re-read every single note (he had long since moved all the little post-it notes Felix had left him into the box as well) that he had been given, often times turning into a mess of sobs on the floor. 

He still visited Felix's grave, bringing news and simple things like how his day had gone. He always brought a sunflower, Felix favourite flower, along with him. 

 

When Changbin turned 29, he ended up winning a Daesang award for a song he compiled using memories of Felix and old poems he had written for the younger boy, creating a song that touched the hearts of many. 2 weeks later his father passed away.

 

When he was 32, Joe passed away, and not 4 weeks later, Martha and Steve ended up passing away as well, leaving Changbin and Yu alone. 

 

When he was 35, he moved to a small house, in a small town and set forth a plan. He wrote letters every single day to Felix, sometimes including pictures of what was happening. He wrote poems, lyrics, songs that he vowed to only ever share with Felix, filling his own box of new memories. His mother passed away 3 days after he finished moving in.

 

He travelled, ticking off the places he and Felix once planned to go together, fulfilling the bucket list they had created on their 2nd anniversary. He wrote about his adventures to Felix, ending with a ‘Wish you were here my love’ always

 

When he was 53, Minho ended up dying in a car crash and Jisung joined him in his house.

 

When he was 69, Woojin passed away from a stroke, and Chan followed not long after out of heartbreak.

 

Seo Changbin was 89 years old, the last of his friends, when he finally closed his eyes on the world forever, his ring still glinting in the light as he breathed in slowly, never to breathe out an again. 

 

Or at least in this world. 

 

Changbin opened his eyes to a field of purple flowers and the brightest blue sky he had ever seen. 

 

He had squinted in the sunlight until a head blocked it, blonde hair glowing.

 

Changbins lips formed a smile as he stared up at the boy before him, a matching grin forming on the other's lips. 

 

“Long time no see, eh Binnie?” 

  
  


(The old willow now touched the smooth stone of two graves, finally at peace with one another after many years apart.)

**Author's Note:**

> so...im sorry, but I'm also not? hehe
> 
> let me know if you guys wanna hear more about there lives before, um, you know what happened. Like there first date, meeting, fight, etc. (you can also ask about other couples!!)
> 
>  
> 
> come yell at me on twitter! I need more friends  
> @KCStone11


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